Virtual sex therapy across Ontario
Sex therapy in Ontario for the things that are hard to say out loud.
Desire has changed. Sex feels anxious, painful, pressured, distant, or easier to avoid. You may also feel perfectly okay and want more curiosity, language, pleasure, confidence, or choice.
I’m Kai DeMaeyer, a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) specializing in sex and relationship therapy for individuals and couples. This is direct, consent-led, sex-positive, trauma-informed work with room for nuance, awkwardness, humour, and questions you have been rehearsing in your head.
- Individuals + couples
- Virtual across Ontario
- $140 per 50 minutes
- Free 15-minute consult
- Sliding scale after consultation
You can start here
Sex gets complicated. You are not failing at it.
You want different amounts or kinds of intimacy.
Differences in desire, initiation, frequency, touch, novelty, or what sex means can create pressure, rejection, resentment, and distance.
Your mind and body are sending different messages.
Anxiety, pain, shutdown, numbness, performance pressure, sensory needs, or old experiences may appear before you have words for what is happening.
Shame takes up too much room.
Messages about bodies, desire, gender, pleasure, fantasy, kink, or what sex is supposed to look like can make honest exploration feel risky.
The conversation has become harder than the concern.
You avoid bringing it up, choose the wrong moment, brace for the reaction, or end up arguing about what the conversation means.
You want room for curiosity.
Therapy can also be a place to explore desire, boundaries, fantasy, pleasure, relationship agreements, or your sexual self without waiting for a crisis.
For individuals
Build a more honest relationship with your own wanting.
Individual sex therapy can give you space to understand what desire, pleasure, safety, attraction, boundaries, and intimacy mean to you, without needing a partner in the room.
- Sexual shame, self-concept, and body trust
- Anxiety, avoidance, performance pressure, and shutdown
- Pain, vaginismus-related concerns, illness, and body changes
- Desire, fantasy, kink, identity, and exploration
- Boundaries, consent, communication, and confidence
For couples + relationships
Make intimacy a conversation you can actually have together.
Couples sex therapy helps partners understand the pattern surrounding intimacy, reduce pressure and blame, speak more clearly, and build a sexual relationship that reflects who they are now.
- Desire differences, initiation, avoidance, and rejection
- Sexual anxiety, shame, pressure, and resentment
- Trust, repair, boundaries, and changing agreements
- Kink, ENM, fantasy, porn, and relationship structure
- Reconnection after grief, illness, conflict, or major change
The clinical lens
Pleasure does not respond well to pressure.
Desire becomes harder to access when sex feels like a test, obligation, source of conflict, measure of love, or problem your body is expected to solve on command.
Sex is understood in context.
We look at the body, relationship, history, stress, identity, health, grief, medication, culture, nervous system, and meanings surrounding desire rather than treating sex as an isolated performance.
Consent guides the pace.
Therapy does not push you toward more sex, a particular kind of sex, or a prescribed relationship. We build more choice, clearer language, safer boundaries, and room to notice what is genuinely wanted.
The work is practical and relational.
Depending on your goals, the work may include communication practice, sensate focus-informed exercises, desire mapping, boundaries, emotional processing, nervous system awareness, and repair.
Specialized clinical depth.
Sex and relationship therapy is a core area of my practice. I integrate ongoing advanced learning and consultation with Narrative Therapy, EFT, Gottman-informed work, parts work, and somatic attention.
Curiosity is enough reason to begin.
Book Your Free ConsultWorking together
Professional does not have to mean clinical and cold.
Start with a free consult
You can ask questions, share as much or as little as feels useful, and see whether my approach feels like a comfortable fit.
Name what is happening
We make room for the awkward words, mixed feelings, uncertainty, and details that have been difficult to discuss elsewhere.
Understand the pattern
We explore what shaped the concern, what keeps it going, what your mind and body have learned, and where pressure enters.
Experiment with change
We build language, boundaries, practices, conversations, and new experiences that fit your goals rather than a generic sexual ideal.
Common questions
Before you reach out.
Do I need to come with a partner?
No. Sex therapy can be individual or relational. You can come on your own to explore desire, shame, anxiety, body changes, pain, boundaries, identity, fantasy, or sexual self-concept. Couples can work with intimacy, communication, desire differences, trust, and repair.
What actually happens in sex therapy?
Sex therapy is talk therapy. Sessions may include conversation, psychoeducation, reflection, communication practice, and optional exercises to complete privately between sessions. There is no nudity, sexual touch, or sexual activity during therapy sessions.
Will you tell me how much sex I should be having?
No. There is no correct amount of sex and no universal version of a satisfying sexual life. We focus on your values, consent, context, preferences, boundaries, and what greater choice or connection would mean for you.
Can we talk about kink, fantasy, porn, or ENM?
Yes. My practice is kink-aware and ENM-informed. These topics can be discussed without moral judgment. We can work with curiosity, shame, agreements, boundaries, disclosure, power, jealousy, communication, and how these experiences fit into your life or relationship.
Can therapy help with pain or vaginismus-related concerns?
Therapy can support the anxiety, grief, shame, avoidance, body trust, communication, nervous system responses, and relationship effects that often surround pain. Physical causes require appropriate medical or pelvic-health care, and therapy can work alongside that support.
What if I feel embarrassed talking about this?
That is very common. You can set the pace, pause, change language, or decide that a topic needs more time. My role is to make the conversation clearer and safer, not to make you disclose before you are ready.
Is therapy virtual?
Yes. Sessions are offered virtually across Ontario. Individuals need a private space. Partners can join from the same private space or from separate private locations within Ontario.
Start where you are
Bring the question you keep rehearsing in your head.
The free 15-minute consultation is a low-pressure place to meet me, ask questions, and see whether this feels like the right place to talk.
Book Your Free Consult