About Kai
Kai DeMaeyer, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
I’m a queer, AFAB, nonbinary, neurodivergent therapist offering virtual therapy across Ontario. I work with individuals and couples navigating relationships, sex, intimacy, identity, trauma, grief, chronic illness, neurodivergence, burnout, and the complicated process of becoming more yourself while still living in relationship with other people.
My work is relational, direct, sex-positive, trauma-informed, queer-affirming, neurodivergent-affirming, kink-aware, ENM/polyamory-informed, and grounded in the belief that people do not exist outside of context.
Why I do this work
I became a therapist because people deserve more than being reduced to symptoms, roles, or survival strategies.
Therapy changed things for me. Not in a neat, cinematic way, and not because someone handed me a perfect answer. It changed things because I had space to slow down, understand my patterns in context, and relate to myself with more honesty, complexity, and care.
That experience is part of why I do this work. So many people come to therapy carrying stories that have been flattened by other people’s expectations. Too much. Too sensitive. Too intense. Too complicated. Too hard to understand. Too functional to be struggling. Too different to fit the usual advice.
I am interested in what happens when we slow down before deciding what something means. What did this response protect? What did this pattern make possible? What did it cost? Who told you this was the only way to survive, belong, stay safe, be wanted, or stay connected?
Therapy, to me, is not about fixing you into a more acceptable version of yourself. It is about making room for the full context of your life, your body, your relationships, your history, your identity, your nervous system, and the parts of you that learned how to keep going.
Training and qualifications
Professional background and scope of practice.
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
I am registered with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario as a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), offering virtual psychotherapy to clients located in Ontario.
Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology
My graduate training focused on psychotherapy, counselling theory, clinical ethics, assessment, relational work, and therapeutic practice with individuals and couples.
Ongoing clinical training
My work is informed by continued training and consultation in trauma-informed care, couples therapy, sex therapy-informed practice, neurodivergent-affirming therapy, and relational approaches to healing.
My approach
Narrative, relational, contextual, body-aware, and parts-informed.
Narrative therapy is one of the main lenses I bring into the work. People exist in context. Your problems did not develop in a vacuum, and your identity is not separate from the relationships, systems, histories, cultures, roles, bodies, and pressures that have shaped your life.
In therapy, we look at the story around the problem, not just the problem itself. We explore how patterns took shape, what keeps them going, what they have cost you, and what needs to shift. We can ask what the problem has convinced you about yourself, who benefits when you believe that story, and what other stories have been waiting for more room.
I also pay close attention to the nervous system and the body. Sometimes insight is not enough because your body is still bracing, shutting down, scanning for danger, or trying to protect you from something that feels too much. We can work with grounding, pacing, emotional regulation, body cues, and stabilization before moving into deeper material.
Parts work also shapes how I listen. Many people arrive with inner conflict: one part wants closeness, another wants distance; one part wants change, another is terrified of what change might cost; one part knows something is not working, another learned to survive by keeping it that way. Therapy can help those parts become less locked in opposition and more understandable.
Who I work with
Therapy for complex lives, relationships, identity, and intimacy.
Queer Therapy Ontario
Queer-affirming therapy for identity, relationships, sex, family, belonging, transition, grief, community, and the pressure to translate yourself.
02Sex Therapy Ontario
Sex therapy-informed support for individuals and couples navigating desire, shame, avoidance, boundaries, kink, ENM, intimacy, and repair.
03Couples Therapy Ontario
Couples therapy for conflict, communication, trust, intimacy, desire differences, neurodivergence, relationship structures, and repair.
04Trauma Therapy Ontario
Trauma-informed therapy for single-incident trauma, complex trauma, CPTSD, PTSD, relational harm, survival patterns, and first responder stress.
05Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy
Support for ADHD, AuDHD, masking, sensory needs, rejection sensitivity, overwhelm, identity, burnout, and late-diagnosed or self-identified neurodivergence.
06Chronic Illness, Health Trauma & Grief
Therapy for illness, medical trauma, body changes, ambiguous loss, grief, caregiving, pain, fatigue, and health-related stress.
Location and context
I live and work in Toronto/Tkaronto, offering virtual therapy across Ontario.
I live in Toronto with my partner and our two rescue dogs. My practice is virtual, which means I work with clients across Ontario from a private online space.
I also want to name the land I live and work on. Toronto/Tkaronto is the traditional territory of many nations, including the Mississaugas of the Credit, the Anishinaabe, the Chippewa, the Haudenosaunee, and the Wendat peoples, and is covered by Treaty 13 with the Mississaugas of the Credit.
I include this not as a polished statement of arrival, but as part of an ongoing responsibility to understand how land, history, power, identity, health, belonging, and care are connected.
Outside the therapy room
A few human details.
I am an avid reader, writer, playlist-curator, community person, and collector of interesting rocks, objects, textures, and little pieces of the world that feel like they have a story. I love dancing, gardening, building things, wandering antique stores, and finding ways to make a space feel more alive.
I also write spicy, character-driven sci-fi in my free time. Stay tuned.
I have a deep interest in bodies, medicine, care systems, and the places where clinical knowledge, lived experience, holistic practice, and intuition meet. That curiosity shows up in my work too: I care about the whole context of a person, not just the part that brought them to therapy.
Being relational in my work matters to me. I do not think therapy requires the therapist to become a blank wall. I am still boundaried, thoughtful, and clinically grounded, but I also believe it can help to know there is a real human on the other side of the screen.
What clients often come for
A therapy space that can hold more than one part of the story.
You do not need to make yourself easier to understand here.
I work with people who are used to explaining themselves before they can be supported. Therapy can include identity, relationships, body, sex, trauma, grief, illness, neurodivergence, and context without treating any one part as the whole story.
The work can be practical and deep.
We can build communication tools, grounding strategies, routines, and boundaries while also exploring shame, grief, desire, family history, identity, trauma, and the meanings underneath old patterns.
I am direct, but not harsh.
I will not sit silently while you do all the work alone. I ask questions, notice patterns, reflect what I am seeing, and help us stay connected to what matters.
Context matters.
People are shaped by systems, families, cultures, bodies, relationships, histories, identities, work, money, land, illness, desire, and power. Therapy that ignores context misses too much.
Fees and format
Start with a free consultation.
Individual therapy
$140 per 50-minute session
Couples therapy
$140 per 50-minute session
Format
Virtual therapy across Ontario
Consultation
Free 15-minute consultation
Get started
You do not need to arrive with everything neatly explained.
We can start with a free consultation and see whether working together feels like the right kind of support.
Book a Free Consult